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Is This Abandoned Beer Or Fresh Piss?

Photo: Twitter

ESPN hockey analyst Greg Wyshynski was on-hand for St. Louis’s stirring 3–2 overtime win over the dreaded Bruins in Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final Wednesday night. Afterward, Wyshynski shot the following Blair Witch-style blurry video of two completely full cups of what he described as beer, tucked behind a couple seats at TD Garden.

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As several Twitter users pointed out in Wyshynski’s replies, this doesn’t seem exactly right. First of all, what kind of lunatic leaves a completely full beer, fresh enough that it still has some foam on top, just sitting on the floor of an arena? And second of all, NHL arenas generally cut off alcohol sales during the second intermission, which in this case would’ve been a solid 40 minutes before this video was taken. Maybe the Bruins opened up sales for another round when the game went to overtime? Without knowing for sure, the presence of not one but two full cups of beer in a single row of seats seems suspect, if not alarming.

There remains another unpleasant possibility:

Could it be ... could it be pee? At least one deeply dehydrated cup-pisser, perfectly topping off two 20-oz beer cups with hot, foamy piss, in order to avoid missing crucial minutes of overtime Stanley Cup Final hockey? And then clamping the lid down on one of them and just leaving the piss cups there to be dealt with by arena personnel?

I don’t know which possibility is more disturbing, but I feel secure in saying that if that tawny liquid in those cups is piss, the person (or persons) doing the pissing needs to drink a lot more water, immediately.

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