Sports fandom is a series of choices. You have to tell yourself a lot of things that might be a fudging of the truth, or outright lies to get through to the next game, the next season, whatever it might be (remember I’m a Bears fan). So yeah, there are shithead fans everywhere, and something that goes against one collection of asshats is probably only for the benefit of another group of same swine. But we have to take our victories where we can, however we define them, and Sunday was a pretty good day for that.
We’ll start in Cleveland, where our pregame Twitter feeds were polluted with the following image:
It’s not like Browns fans have been covering themselves in glory throughout the preseason, and I’m sure there were enough No. 4 jerseys in the crowd to make the population of a major city upchuck their lunch.
But still, in their first home game in this era of Browns football, as detestable as it most certainly will be, and in all their ignorant defiance, having to watch the Jets, THE FUCKING JETS, stage a 4th quarter miracle comeback spearheaded by the immobile and possibly massively confused Joe Flacco is the sweetest juice. Sure, we only get this for a couple more months before Deshaun Watson returns and this somehow gets more gross than it already is. But again, our victories are important, and we have to soak it in.
The image of whatever fucksticks set that up in the parking lot, so sure of their cleverness and oblivious if not outright celebrating just how insulting it all is, having to skulk back to their cars or homes after the most embarrassing loss possible (again, THE JETS), well that should be enough to sustain all of us for the week. They’ll have to sit and stew, it’s obvious they’re the type of fans that Browns results color their whole week if not their whole lives, and see that last TD pass while they’re trying to do whatever it is they do between Sunday. I’m assuming there’s a lot of huffing paint or white-out. May that white-out be even more toxic this week.
Jumping over to Madrid, the Madrid derby is always an inflamed affair, thanks to Atletico Madrid’s self-identification as the boil on the ass of soccer. They revel in being the anti-Real Madrid, the plebes to the royalty. But that’s an easy attitude to let spill over into ugly and aborrent scenes and shouts, which of course…
The build to this match had been filled with discussion over Vinicius Jr.’s goal celebration, a delightful dance. Atletico’s players certainly didn’t help, and the whole thing is based in racism which spilled into the daylight before the game.
Vincius Jr. and his teammates proceeded to pretty much kick the shit out of Atletico for most of the game, conceding a late consolation goal in a 2-1 win that wasn’t ever really that close. Vinicius even set up the winning goal with his trademark speed:
Madrid’s opener was a lovely finish from Rodrygo, who didn’t hesitate to honor his teammate afterward, nor did the rest of the Madrid team:
In fact, that celebration was seen in other places, as Gabriel Jesus paid homage to his Brazil national team teammate when he scored for Arsenal at Brentford. None of this will solve the massive problems of sexual assault being dismissed in sports, or racism either. But for one day, a bunch of assholes had to watch their shitheaded nature get shoved right back up their asses. Still feels pretty good.