It's Never The Offseason In The Mind Of Gilbert Arenas

We know you never miss Gilbert Arenas' blog, because you're a good hearted soul, but if you haven't had a chance to check today ... well ... we're just gonna go ahead and just quote Gilbert directly.

I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.

There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.

I know you're making a weird face as you're reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.

We're humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you're swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that's called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you're chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that's a shark attack. Now, if you're chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

When I see on the news where it's like, "There have been 10 shark attacks," I'm like, "Hey, for real?! They're just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don't live underwater."

Seriously: We're not sure we're ever gonna like a professional athlete more than we like Gilbert Arenas.

(OK, Ankiel, But that's IT.)

There Are No Such Things As Shark Attacks [Gilbert Arenas' Blog]

(UPDATE: It does appear Gilbert swiped this from a comedian. That's not good, but we still just love the general thought process. But yeah: Don't steal, Gilbert.)