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You can have your own thoughts about the strength or persuasiveness of any of these defenses, particularly the one about being too busy learning feminism to encounter history! I would rather leap into a crocodile’s mouth than know what those thoughts are! What matters here is that it is not actually necessary to make these defenses at all, and there is absolutely no chance that they will improve anything one iota.

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More to the point, Jameela Jamil in particular does not have to offer them. She is rich and famous; more people will watch the next episode of her TV show than will read all of those tweets put together. It is fine for her to let some strangers just be kind of mad at her for one day. It is fine for her to just log off and go do rich celebrity shit with her rich celebrity friends while the strangers exorcise their very minor amount of anger over a kind of silly thing she tweeted on a Wednesday.

That is what I hope I would do if I were a rich celebrity and some strangers got kind of mad at me on Twitter one day. I hope that instead of trying to persuade literally everyone on earth that it’s actually cool and enlightened for me to have tweeted whatever the dumb thing was, I would go to an exclusive restaurant and pay a lot of money for some extremely good food and eat it with my good-looking, rich, famous pals and go Ha! Ha! Isn’t it lovely to be rich and famous! One of my favorite things about it is that at any time I can do something infinitely cooler, more exclusive, and more fun than trying to win over every last person on a failing social-media network run by morons. Now let us go test-drive Lamborghinis and crash them and face no consequences, my friend who is Brad Pitt. 

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But one need not be rich and famous to log off. Literally anyone can log off! I recommend it. It is actually totally okay for some number of online people to be kind of mad at you for a day over something dumb you tweeted. You can log off and let them. Then a day later you can log back on and be like “Whew, sorry for my dumb tweet, that sucked” and nobody will even remember what you’re talking about. Or maybe they will and they’ll still be mad! Who cares!

You don’t even have to agree that the tweet was dumb! It’s fine. You can log off for a little while and then log back on a day later and just tweet about whatever that day’s thing is. What are they gonna do? Anything? Nothing. (Probably.) It’s Twitter. Who cares. Nobody.

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You definitely do not ever have to tweet through it. It’s fine to log off. Please log off. Jameela, please log off.