Jacoby Brissett Asks A Cosmic-Brained Question About The Cosmos

The summer offseason is a time for NFL football players to get away from the game, rest, heal, and pursue various forms of personal fulfillment. For Colts backup quarterback Jacoby Brissett, this is a time for pondering the big questions of, literally, the universe. Like, for example, whether the Sun is hot:
It’s hard to tell whether that question is being asked with childlike innocence or YouTube-brained skepticism, but either way that it is being asked on Twitter by a 26-year-old college graduate says really unfortunate things about the American educational system. Thankfully, fellow NFL quarterback and aerospace engineering major Josh Dobbs offered a succinct answer, in layman’s terms:
Even if that answer is unsatisfying, this should’ve been the end of it, for no other reason than because Brissett should’ve by this point learned that Twitter is not where you go when you have genuine questions about the properties of space. Alas, Dobbs’s description left Brissett more confused than ever:
If Brissett shows up to Colts training camp in two weeks with a mangled throwing hand, there’s a very good chance it’s because he tried to ram it into a running Dyson in order to understand the mysteries of the cosmos.
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