Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Jameis Winston Fat?

Illustration for article titled Jameis Winston Fat?

Jameis Winston has always been a stout quarterback, inviting comparisons to Ben Roethlisberger not just for alleged behavioral resemblances, but for physical resemblances as well. As Michael David Smith has noted, there’s definitely some boobage going on. Is Winston fat? I’d say he’s righhhhhht on the verge of being fat.


Frankly, given his public image, I think Jameis should abandon all decorum and go full fat. Everyone loves a fat quarterback. Jared Lorenzen is still my hero. Frankly, it’s time we stopped boob-shaming our quarterbacks. Healthy, chiseled quarterbacks like Blake Bortles—who has a set of pecs that you could hit a tennis ball off of—present young passers with unrealistic body images, and warp society’s perceptions of what a quarterback’s body ought to look like.

I want a 300-lb. quarterback who sports a large, heaving chest. Just two luscious flaps of butterfat. It would send a message to all the fat kids of the world that yes, you CAN make it in the NFL, even if you’re packing some serious sweater Dachsunds under that Affliction shirt of yours. As a former fat child, this would mean the world to me. So keep on eating those crab legs, Jameis, and grab a few key lime pies from Publix while you’re at it. You‘ve got more pounds to pack on! Let’s see J.J. Watt try to drag down you and your breathtaking manjuggs now!