Jason Marquis Final Key To The Nationals 20-Year Rebuilding Plan

Those frisky Nats have bolstered their pitching staff by nabbing someone on their wish list and the Mets continue to be enamored with Japanese players. Jayson Stark sports a mighty chub for springtime so you know it's time for HOTFUCKINGSTOVE.

• The Texas Rangers are determined to make this Darren Oliver relationship work and have signed him to a one-year deal or until they're eliminated from the playoffs where they'll dump him off on a contender once again.

• Ken Davidoff heard something a while ago about the Yankees asking about Carlos Zambrano but he didn't deem it necessary to write about until everyone else did.

• Cliff Lee is still confused as to why the hell he is going to Seattle: "I was caught off guard by the whole thing. The day before it happened I heard all the rumors. I called my agent, he called them and they basically said it was not real. Don't believe the rumors, don't believe what you're hearing. So at that point I thought for sure it wasn't going to happen, then the next morning they called and confirmed that it did happen."

• Peter Gammons says screw this Winter Meetings crap and let's yell about Sarah Palin. BECAUSE HE CAN. • Ken Rosenthal throws some shit at the wall.

PHOTO: Courtesy Josh Carp/ SIAdvance.com