Jay Cutler Is The Breakout TV Character Of 2018

Jay Cutler is good at eating pussy. He wasn’t always, but he is now.

I learned this in the most recent episode of Very Cavallari, the E! reality show that follows Laguna Beach and The Hills star Kristin Cavallari as she opens a jewelry/home goods store in Nashville.

The show is fine. The cast is full of pretty people, including a rich hunk whose name is actually “Wirth” (it’s pronounced how you’d expect). There’s also a woman from the Philadelphia suburbs, Brittainy, a model who once appeared in an ad for Philly’s “poop cabs,” so called because a driver for this cab company was once filmed taking a shit on the side of the road. Also, Cavallari’s and Cutler’s kids aren’t in it! I appreciate that bit of parenting, even if those kids aren’t vaccinated.

But the real star of the show is Jay Cutler. Over his years in the NFL, Cutler was well-known for not appearing to give a shit. That character worked on Sunday afternoon TV for a decade, but it was clearly time for him to mix it up. Now he’s a character who doesn’t give a shit on a reality show! It was a bold gamble, but it pays off. Even without a helmet, Cutler is very good TV.

To be fair to Jay, he does appear to care about one thing: Eating out his wife. In the most recent episode, Cavallari says the sex is as “good as it’s ever been” because Cutler read an article in GQ that taught him to eat women out properly. The Big Lead identified an article as the article Cutler read.

I talked to the author of that piece, Rae Witte, about what it felt like that her article—which was not really a how-to—improved the sex life of a reality show star and her ex-quarterback husband. “I primarily write dating stuff for men’s magazines,” she says. “But I feel like it’s at a slant that will benefit women. All of my stuff comes from sitting around with my girlfriends and talking about our mutual gripes.” It worked! Cavallari owes her.

I have watched all five episodes of Very Cavallari that have aired so far, and compiled a little greatest hits montage of Jay Cutler.