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We're actually starting to feel kind of bad for Jerry Rice. The guy's very possibly the best player in NFL history and, now that he has been kicked off three teams and has an opportunity to retire gracefully, he's still desperate to play some more. When asked on the CBS pregame show last Sunday what he would do if a team called him to play for them, Rice said, "I'm out the door," Rice said. "I'm on that team. Without a doubt."

The Chicago Daily Southtown — which, incidentally, featured some scintillating Illinois basketball coverage in the mid-'90s — says that the Chicago Bears should call Rice immediately, though Rice's agent says he doesn't see any way that happens. Just in case, though, we feel obliged once again to give noted massage enthusiast Rice a heads-up on the best places for him to visit if he ends up in Chicago. No charge, Jerry.

Rice Would Look Great On Bears [Daily Southtown]
Best Massage Ever [49er Haters]
Chicago Massage Parlors [Google Maps]