Michigan and Florida open their seasons against each other on Saturday. As of today, nobody knows who will be starting at quarterback for either team, and nobody is really quite sure who is even on Michigan’s roster. This is because Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh and Florida head coach Jim McElwain are being petty as hell.

There’s been ongoing confusion about who is on Harbaugh’s 2017 squad, because the team has yet to update its official roster from the 2016 version. Meanwhile, McElwain is refusing to tell anyone who his starting quarterback will be, and last week nobody was quite sure why this was all going on. Based on comments both coaches made today, they are being stingy with information simply to rile each other up.

While talking to reporters today, Harbaugh was asked if he was ready to announce who his starting quarterback will be. He answered: “I have not heard Florida announce who their starting quarterback will be. We’d love to have that information. So, uh, we’re not announcing our starting quarterback.”

McElwain was less direct when asked about his cold war with Harbaugh today, saying, “the opponent has nothing to do with it” when asked why he had yet to name a starting quarterback. But he did get in a dig when a reporter asked him how he felt about Harbaugh’s various antics, such as running controversial satellite camps and always managing to stay in the news. “He obviously felt that they needed to do some things to become relevant,” said McElwain. “And that was his choice in doing it. It’s probably not something I’d do, so it’s all right.”

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(The weird thing is that both of these guys could just admit that they are seeking a tactical advantage by forcing the other team to prepare for multiple quarterbacks, but instead they are choosing to be vague and snippy.)

The only bad thing about this tiff is that it is destined to end as soon as Michigan and Florida take the field on Saturday. Unless one of these guys has the guts to send his team out of the tunnel decked out in blank jerseys and tinted visors. This is their chance to prove who cares the most about being a football dickhead.