Josef Martínez's Hideous Penalty Kick Run-Up Ends In Humiliation

The reward for Josef Martínez’s frankly insane penalty kick routine is an unreadable technique that makes it easy to best keepers from the spot, as evidenced by the Atlanta United forward’s 14-for-16 penalty record in MLS. The risk is that it makes him look like a huge weirdo and sets him up for ridicule when he misses, as evidenced by this atrocious attempt from Sunday:

One day Martínez is going to combine this run-up with a Panenka-style chip and a black hole is going to open up at the penalty spot and swallow the planet.