The scene is the Yankees game. Right now. Weather's nice in the city. Warm, breezy, with a sun obscured by few clouds. It's a beautiful day to watch baseball, indoors with the windows open, or on television. It's a beautiful day to play baseball, too, if you're anyone but Andruw Jones.

Josh Hamilton hits a fly out to left center, and Jones—who appears to be suffering from a bad bout of cutaneous edema on his upper lip—loses it in the natural light and then falls down. Poor guy.