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If you know anything about us, you know that we love a good chess brawl. And the more sex and international intrigue thrown in, the better. So come with us now as we recount a story that is a few days old, actually, but one we cannot ignore, because hey, it's chess! Our players are British grandmaster Danny Gormally, Armenia's Levon Aronian — the No. 3 player in the world — and teenage Australian champion Arianne Caoili, dubbed "the Anna Kournikova of chess." Gormally had reportedly had an Internet relationship with Caoili, but things went awry during the World Chess Olympiad in Italy, when Gormally caught Caoili dancing with Aronian at a Turin nightclub. Gormally cut in and punched Aronian, knocking him to the floor. Thus, we get this fine quote, from Caoili's mother: "She's salsa crazy and was probably dancing salsa and looking a bit sexy and that's why [Gormally] got upset.''

The aftermath: Gormally withdrew from the tournament; England and Armenia are now locked in a bitter chess feud; and Caoili resumes her quest to become International Chess Queen. We love happy endings.

Chess Queen Triggers Gormallygate [Sydney Morning Herald]
Pawns Fly [Bob Reno Badjocks]
Check Mate [To The People]