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Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifying father" industry. The more we learn about Mr. Monday, the more we realize he is a savior sent to deliver us from corruption, abuse of power and rampant fornication.


Some facts:

• He is a graduate of Kent State University, which makes him a "Golden Flash."
• He has won 30 regional Emmys and was named Best TV Investigator by Cleveland Scene.
• One of the Emmy nominations came for a story called Cody The Cancer Boy.
• Monday once discovered that sometimes gay men have sex in porn booths. (Link NSFW)
• He is making the world safe for all of us. Without him, Clevelanders would be lost. It is only through him that they are saved.


All hail Carl Monday!

And, honestly: We really can't say enough about the Deadspin commenters. Just watching you guys work yesterday was an absolute honor for us. The day was pure pleasure. Thank you.


The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day [Deadspin]