Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Good news! The new Jesus sports statues are in, still piping hot from the kiln and ready for shipping over at Catholic Shopper.com. But unlike in previous versions in which He was smack dab in the action, Our Lord and Savior seems content to kibitz from the sidelines this time, refusing to get directly involved even when little Tommy takes an obvious dive in soccer, or when young Billy drags a defender for a first down in football. Hey Christ, ever hear of 'in the grasp?' Blow the freakin' whistle!

Our favorite is the one on the bottom right, in which Jesus explains to Jimmy why Sally must be allowed to play in their youth baseball league. Who better than Christ to detail the ramifications of Title IX?

These sculptured wonders are all pretty swell, as far as they go. But we thought we'd throw in our own entry, based on recent troubling events:

No, not even divine intervention could save the Cowboys on Saturday (Christ seems to be saying "I give up"). This is just a prototype, but if Catholic Shopper gets a move-on, they could be ready in time for the 2007 holidays. And what better present for the Cowboys fan on your Christmas or Hannukah list? We mean, besides poison or a noose?

Jesus Inspirational Sports Statues [Catholic Shopper.com]