Parade Pat returns, Travis Kelce shoots Fireball, and more from the Kansas City parade

The only time the internet gets joy over someone else’s happiness is when they’re drunk and making a fool of themselves. That’s why we loved parade Klay Thompson in June, and adored Patrick Mahomes from a few years back. Even Tom Brady throwing the Lombardi between boats was entertaining, and there is little he does off the field that’s redeeming.

So, if you’re interested in a bunch of Kansas City Chiefs players, fans, and coaches taking in the occasion to the fullest degree, you’re in luck because I ventured onto Twitter and compiled a best of from the route.

The one thing I ask of Donna Kelce is to please let Travis be himself.

Alright, this is closer to what I’m looking for.

And we’ve arrived. Nothing like a little Fireball to light the fuse.

Yes, Patrick Mahomes is probably still drunk in this video. He’s miming phone calls with things that aren’t phones.

If you need empirical evidence, here’s the MVP slugging a beer.

Here he is helping his backup quench his thirst.

And just for good measure: Dancing like no one is watching despite everybody watching.

Attention: If you are looking for a lost rookie, we found him in the middle of the parade route. He was discovered screaming at the crowd about a Philly Pack while talking to the media. Please report to the security office to retrieve him.

And here he is showering the crowd with some sort of carbonated beverage. Whether it was before or after the interview, I have no idea.

Just a question: How many 60-and-over Kansas City residents can put on a fake mustache and headset and pull off an Andy Reid lookalike? Over/under 5,500?

There are definitely different vibes for each bus, and the feeling I get from the Reid/Hunt family bus is it’s the parents float. They’ve probably got a bunch of snacks and weather-appropriate beverages.

Someone put “0 sacks” on a fucking T-shirt. (It was the Kansas City offensive line.)

Here’s the obligatory “Fuck Philly” sign.

The protestors were out, but it wasn’t babies’ lives they were trying to save, it was baby dicks. Not sure I’ve seen an anti-circumcision sign before, but there’s a first for everything.

Aunt Milly came to the parade, but eat her brownies with caution. Take a couple of bites, drink a beer, and see how you feel before housing the entire thing.