The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor.
Pity poor Pat Knight. Now that his father has abruptly stepped down as head coach of the Texas Tech Red Raiders, the son will be held to his father's standards. That means not only the kind of talent and longevity required to rack up 902 wins as a head coach, but also the wrenching burden of being as all-fired entertaining as his old man.
And it's not like he can just trot out the greatest hits, either. He'll never slug a Puerto Rican gendarme with quite the aplomb his father did. The chairs of the Big 12 have long been bolted to the court, and his hunting license will likely be denied.
So what can Pat Knight do - aside from winning lots and lots of games - to make his mark in Lubbock?
• Eschew the red sweater. Join the new millennium with a garish red-and-black blazer.
• Tell everyone he never really liked Buddy Holly's music much.
• Lobby for a cameo in the new "Knight Rider" television show.
• Don a loincloth, ingest peyote, wander out into the sage desert, and return ten days later with the revelation that time is an illusion - overtime doubly so.
• Take thirteen items through the express lane.
Just a few ideas. To get the Brigadier off on the right foot. He should feel free to improvise from there.
Sosa Hits a Hone Ron. Louisville 71 - Marquette 57. Big win for the Cardinal to keep pace in My Big Fat East Standings. Edgar Sosa led all scorers with 18 on the night. Tom Crean wants Milwaukee's Best every night, and he's not getting it.
Around Town. Kansas 90 - Missouri 71. This wasn't much of a game, so let's dish some celebrity gossip instead. Who's that emerging from the Phog? Nolan Richardson was looking dapper in a Redd Foxx-inspired beard and afro, as he checked out his protégé Mike Anderson. And speaking of jet-setters, Kansas AD Lew Perkins made it back to Lawrence for this game despite sharing a luxury box with Peyton Manning at last night's Super Bowl. And last but not least, "have you lost weight, Mark Mangino?" The football mastermind was honored at halftime, where he showed off the stunning effects of the Orange Bowl Diet.
Golden Shower. Gonzaga 85 - St. Mary's 89 (OT). This game was very old-school. On television, it looked like it was being played in an old smokehouse illuminated only by a ring of automobile headlights. The mile-a-minute game action was worth squinting at, however. Pargo and Mills dueled to the death, each scoring 20+ on an array of circus shots in traffic. SMC guard Todd Golden rained down threes to keep the Zags at arm's length, hitting 6-7 from NBA range.
Tonight's Big Game
Florida (18-4) at Tennessee (19-2). The Gator roster is fraught with slashes. Leading scorer Nick Calathes is a guard/forward. Big man Marreese Speights is a forward/center, and third-leading scorer Walter Hodge is an Accountant/Shepard, which will be nice when he "goes pro in something else." Tennessee has been so good this year, I'm already out of jokes about sherbet, spurtability and Pat Summit.