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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Kyle Orton's Dad Is Letting Everybody Know How His Son Got Traded

Illustration for article titled Kyle Ortons Dad Is Letting Everybody Know How His Son Got Traded

Byron Orton likes talking to the press about his son. So when the reporters from his hometown Des Moines Register came calling he had all the answers for them.


So, Mr. Orton, how'd this happen?

"Kyle called me this afternoon and was just calling to visit..."

That's nice. He's a good son. Hairy like a yeti, but a good son.

"And while we were talking, his agent called and said, 'Kyle, I don't know exactly what's going on, but... Denver's new coach, the guy from New England (Josh McDaniels) really likes you a lot, and he's trying to make a trade with the Bears including you.'


Get out of here! McDaniels!

"And so, while he was on the phone with his agent, he got a call from Halas Hall that (Bears coach) Lovie (Smith) wanted to see him."

Uh oh.

"He called me back and said, 'Dad, I think I just got traded.'"

Ugggggggggh. Tough one. Does he know anything about Denver? Does he ski? Nose bleeds?

"He knows Denver has big-time playmakers."

High fucking five, Mr. O.

(Byron Orton is not pictured above. That's Kyle. The one without the boobs hanging out.)



Tomorrow: Prime Minister (Sinister) Pete Gaines will kick you in the grill.

Sunday: Dash.

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