Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess

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In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing.

The Cleveland Cavaliers used his 40 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists to hold off the Chicago Bulls in a sorta close game last night, maybe. I have been told that Chicago is the worst NBA team still playing, but that's still awfully, sorta, impressive. That also probably makes you happy, because he outplayed this guy who said that Cleveland was boring, which is something no one ever does apparently. Plus, everyone in attendance got a box of free macaroni and that's really tasty, especially if you add some bread crumbs to it and bake it nice and good, so everything is going just exactly the way it's supposed to, probably, and that makes people smile.


Also, everyone is now calling LeBron James the "Mariano Rivera of basketball." Is it because he only puts out effort for 1/18 of the game?

Speaking of effort ... HOLY CRAP, DAVID ECKSTEIN! Now that is a guy I am excited to talk about! LeBron James doing exactly what he is expected to do is only sort of interesting, but when baseball's littlest giant hits a home run—against actual Giants!—that will a light a fire under you. And a walk-off! Sweet geebus, that guy is clutch. He probably deserves some kind of award too.