Leaks: Pujols Wins MVP, Finally

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Well, today's the day they announced the National League MVP, and you can probably guess which way we're rooting. (We'll give you a hint; it's not the Cub. Or the guy from that Southern team that has no fans.) The vote is expected to be close, but, according to unfortunately named Cardinals blogger Fuck Your Couch (interestingly enough, in the WNBA, they change that last "U" to an "A"), leaks have already surfaced that Pujols has won. (Wait, do leaks surface? We don't think they surface. They trickle. Yes. Leaks have trickled.)

We certainly have our fingers crossed that this is the case, and not just because of our previous observation that Pujols is the anti-Barry Bonds in every possible way. We also find this rumor particularly believable because, in a strange twist, both of the Atlanta reporters this year are unable to vote because their papers are pretending their reporters are impartial observers. The path seems clear for Mr. Pujols. Which is good. Because he is a god who is beyond reproach. We won't lie to you: If we had exclusive information that Pujols was in the bathroom with the Panthers lesbian cheerleaders, we wouldn't tell you. We love him that much.


About Damn Time [Fuck Your Couch]
Voting Conflicts In Spotlight [USA Today] (via The Daily Quickie)