I know there will be six kinds of naysayers, and while there is no notary public involved, I have photo documentation of a French green lentil falling from mouth-height,

ricocheting off an abdomen ...

and coming to rest easy six feet from said abdomen.

Can you see the lentil way over there? Guess what — this had abso-freakin nuthin to do with Nike. I have cut back on carbs. And that was a French green lentil, known for their ability to not turn to mush and lose their bounce upon cooking. While skanky, the Topshop knotted and cut-out t-shirt dress may have played some role in the incredible rebounding ability of the lentil. I feel like the Science of Sport guys are going to want to weigh in on this. I, for one, await their response.


I'd like to hear from you. What has bounced off your abdomen, and how far did it go? Do you have documentation? Did Nike have something to do with it?