Lindsey Jacobellis DQ'd, And Other Things You Already Know But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread

People without access to the internet or cable television or the outside world in general don't know it yet, but snowboarder Lindsey Jacobellis drifted off course today and lost her chance at what Tom Brokaw couldn't wait to call "redemption."

I feel for Jacobellis. She will now spend the rest of her life as the go-to object lesson of tsk-tsking youth sports coaches everywhere. (You're off the hook now, Leon Lett.) But at least Lindsey was spared a televised therapy session on NBC's couch, where Brokaw recently made every effort to fashion Bode Miller into our national Father's Day card. I'll just quote Charlie Pierce here:

Do we need the lugubrious faux Heartland presence of The Man Who Invented World War II? What purpose does this serve, except to provide a junket for aging anchordudes? This is, after all, a guy who wrote a book purportedly about the 1960's in which one of his primary sources was the late Tim Russert, who had as much to do with The Sixties as Andrea Mitchell had to do with Iron Butterfly. (Anyone who knows if I'm wrong about the latter, please get in touch, with photos.) But there he was, droopily leading poor Bode, who was just trying to get ready for a ski race, through all the appropriately remorseful dumbshow about parenthood, a concept that Tom Brokaw also invented in a workshop in South Dakota.

Please use this thread to discuss Jacobellis, men's figure skating, speedskating, and Tom Brokaw, who also invented acid rock. Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry will be here as soon as the dogs are finished with his leg.