Lochte Mess Monster, Part Deux

As Maggie Hendricks of Bally Sports reported that 90 percent of the United States swimming team is vaccinated for COVID-19, she noted that “Ryan Lochte preferred not to answer the question on if he was vaccinated.”

That probably means no. But even giving a bit of benefit of the doubt to someone who doesn’t deserve it, it’s a good reminder that the correct answer is “yes, and everyone should.” It’s not something to be coy about.

More than 2,000 Americans have died from coronavirus in the past week, at a time when we have a vaccine available, making this a preventable tragedy. But it still takes everyone pulling in the same direction — of getting the population vaccinated and finally quelling this plague — and idiots like Lochte need to stop pissing in the pool of public health.

It’s pretty amazing that Lochte even wants to go back to the Olympics, given that five years ago, the six-time gold medalist suffered a brutal robbery at gunpoint after a night out clubbing in Rio. Oh, right, that’s not what happened at all, because Lochte and teammates were actually caught vandalizing a gas station, then told NBC the tall tale about getting mugged.

A Brazilian court ruled that Lochte, who was suspended 10 months by USA Swimming for the incident, was not criminally liable for his lies because, as gross as it is to try to claim you’re the victim of a crime when you were actually the one doing crime… NBC, even during the Olympics, is not a law-enforcement authority, and therefore lying to them is not a crime.

Lochte also is coming off a 14-month anti-doping ban, not because he cheated, but because he went clubbing in Florida, got an IV of legal vitamins (problem is, there are anti-doping rules about IV bags), and posted a photo of himself on social media breaking the rules.

At least we already know how Lochte plans to embarrass himself and America at the Olympics this time, by being an ignorant fool who can’t even be bothered to lie for the common good and just say he got one jab in his arm that he was supposed to.