LOL JK Padres, no Max Scherzer for you

Hey, so, cool story. Remember that one time I wrote about how Max Scherzer was totally going to the San Diego Padres like five hours ago? Also, unrelated — have you ever seen “Elf” with Will Ferrell? Well, if you have (or if you haven’t, whatever), there’s a scene where Buddy the Elf, played by Ferrell, plans out the entire day with his long-lost biological father (spoiler) using an Etch A Sketch, because apparently that’s what elves do, and then his father, played by James Caan, dashes his dreams in an instant. Good ol’ Buddy the Elf then erases his entire plans by shaking the Etch A Sketch fervently. Welcome to my world.

Apparently,The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal spoke a little too soon on the reported deal that would send ace Scherzer to the San Diego Padres, because now, it looks like he’s going to the NL West rival Los Angeles Dodgers.

Whoopsies.

Originally, bowtie aficionado Rosenthal broke the news that the Padres were “close to acquiring the three-time Cy Young winner.” About an hour later, he reported that “sources say other teams are still trying to top the Padres’ offer. Situation may be complicated by Scherzer’s ability to veto any trade and effectively choose his next club.”

What a ride it was. The Padres, longing to make a push in the division and secure their rotation with a true stud, thought they were getting Scherzer, but now they’re going to have to face him. There’s a scenario where they could run into him in the NL Wild Card game if the Giants continue to exceed expectations.

Well well well, how the turntables.

Not only are the rich getting richer, but they’re getting even richer-er. The Dodgers are apparently also close to finalizing a deal that would not only land them Scherzer, but also studly shortstop Trea Turner. Turner, 28, is hitting .322 with 18 home runs. It honestly just doesn’t feel fair to the rest of the MLB.

As we learned a few hours ago, however, no trade is done until it’s like really super duper done. Who knows, maybe I’ll be correcting this article in another few hours. But, man, I hope not.