Look At This Big Boy Run 

Meet Louis, a big, determined boy, who is not interested in walking on his hands like an animal.

Louis is an 18-year-old western lowland gorilla who lives at the Philadelphia Zoo, and is, by all accounts, a sophisticated creature whose run-waddle-walk should inspire fear and a little bit of awe. According to his keepers, Louis is a considerate boy who likes to keep his hands clean and available for holding special treasures. Smart boy—good boy. He’s got it all figured out.

“He actually does it more often than you might think,” Michael Stern, curator of primates and small mammals at the Philadelphia Zoo, told the . “It depends on the situation. If the ground is really muddy, he will do it more often. If he’s getting fed some treats, like tomatoes, that might squish more, then he tends to walk upright with things like that.”

Part of the reason Louis takes the tomatoes in his leathery little hands and runs like he’s trying to make the light at a crosswalk is because he’s laying claim to what, in his mind, is his and his alone. “If it’s something really tasty, like the tomatoes, Louis will go around collecting them so that Kuchimba, the other guy, doesn’t steal what he thinks belongs to him,” Stern said. Fuck that, and fuck you, Kuchimba, get the HELL out of Louis’s way. Let him live.

Good boy, Louis. Good boy.