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LSU-Alabama Was The Worst Game Ever

Your morning roundup for November 6, the day we learned how to make our own sea salt. Image via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.


What we watched: The game of the century. The first half was all "I'm going to lull you to sleep with jumpy offenses and missed field goals!" But then, the second half was all "Not so fast! I'm gonna bore the hell out of you, too." Then overtime was all "You thought that was a touchdown, but guess what? He stepped out on the 7 yard line. Field goals for everyone!

There were any number of more exciting games (FYI: Tim Brando informed the post game viewers across the country that they don't understand college football if they didn't find this exciting), but thanks to the way college football is set up, this was "The Most Important" because one of these teams will be in the National Championship game. So, we watch And we delight in the madness. Then we ask for our money back.


In Case You Missed It: "Sandusky, 67, coached at Penn State for more than 30 years. He spent the final 23 of those years-the last of which was 1999-as the Nittany Lions' defensive coordinator. From 1977 until his retirement last year, Sandusky had also run a foster home in State College, Pa., for troubled children called The Second Mile...The Second Mile, according to the report, 'gave [Sandusky] access to hundreds of boys, many of whom were vulnerable due to their social situations.' After his retirement from coaching, Sandusky also still had full access to Penn State's football facilities." Read the whole story here.



Tim Duncan's personality would drive anyone to drink: "Spurs general manager R.C. Buford was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated after he crashed into a fence, San Antonio Police said. A police spokesman confirmed Buford was arrested after crashing into the fence in the 500 block of N. Leona just west of downtown late Friday night." []


I know I'd suffer the indignity of shriveled testicles if it meant some day I'd have my name on a street sign somewhere in suburbia: "Barry Bonds may be reviled by many around baseball for his role in the sport's steroid scandal, but he was treated like a king Saturday in south suburban Harvey. Bonds was there as the city renamed a section of 150th and Loomis after the all-time home run leader. Why rename a street for a native Californian with no obvious ties to the city? Harvey officials explained that Bonds has been a friend to the city for years and has helped disadvantaged children in the area." [Chicago Tribune]

Your Genoan flooding aftermath interlude

With a name straight out of Central Casting: "'We called the frat house, this is no lie,' Vols coach [Derek Dooley] said, 'and sent the police to pick him up. And he suits up and nails three PATs and a field goal. I'm proud of Derrick.' Dooley said the kickers went out for their pregame drills and everyone came back in a panic. 'I said, "Let's get an APB out for Brodus." And it was a good thing he wasn't out having too much fun on Saturday afternoon. I told the coaches an intoxicated Brodus is better than nobody. Get him in here and we'll do a breathalyzer. Fortunately, he didn't do anything bad.'" [Chattanoogan]


Lenny Dysktra's business manager is pissed he flaked out last night: "The cool thing is I am 27, I can move on, and do bigger and better things. While karma will slowly erode Lenny Dykstra. I will always remember what he was, what I thought he was, and try not to think about what he turned into. I think it would make a very entertaining documentary, I think people need to really know what happened to Nails. Spring 2012 expect the documentary detailing how Nails became liquid nails, released on Pick Six Productions LLC, a new division of Chinga Chang Records." [Hickey]

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.


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