Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Lucky Joe Thomas Gets To Go To Cleveland

Illustration for article titled Lucky Joe Thomas Gets To Go To Cleveland

The Cleveland Browns, with the 3rd overall pick, take Joe Thomas, OL, Wisconsin. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it.

At Deadspin, we don't have the juice to mount a camera in Thomas boat as he fishes for coho salmon on Lake Michigan . So we did the next best thing. It's time for an exclusive interview with Smokey the Coho Salmon:

Deadspin: What do you think of the Browns' selection of Thomas?

Smokey: Must swim. Swim upstream. Avoid Bear. Swim.

Deadspin: Do you think Thomas will have as great an impact on the passing game in Cleveland as he has had on you and your aquatic brethren?


Smokey: Swim. Find ancestral spawning grounds. Jump waterfall. Brave rapids. Swim. Swim. Spawn. Die.

Deadspin: I guess that's salmon for "this interview is over."

Thomas' arrival in Cleveland will benefit the Browns as much as it does the denizens of Lake Michigan . Thomas has the best footwork and lateral quickness of any tackle to enter the NFL in the last five years. He gets great position on his defender and has incredible balance. He's a superior overall athlete and a team player who moved over to the defensive line when the Badgers suffered a spate of injuries after the 2005 season. He's not one of those glass-eating Jon Runyan types who live to beat the snot out of opponents, but neither was Willie Roaf, and Roaf turned out just fine.

Thomas fills a need for the Browns, whose quarterbacks were sacked 54 times last season. Of course, bad things often happen to Browns top picks: freak injuries, motorcycle accidents, etc. Let's hope there are life preserves in that boat, or by sundown Thomas will be the subject of a Gordon Lightfoot song.

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