Mark Cuban's Queer Eye For The NBA Guy

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is of the opinion that, if there is a gay player out there on a current NBA roster, he should come out, because he would be totally rich and respected if he did. Because that's just the way it happens in the real world, right? You announce that you're gay, and they give you a new car?

"From a marketing perspective, if you're a player who happens to be gay and you want to be incredibly rich, then you should come out, because it would be the best thing that ever happened to you from a marketing and an endorsement perspective," the Mavericks' owner said. "You would be an absolute hero to more Americans than you can ever possibly be as an athlete, and that'll put money in your pocket."

We think we speak for all NBA players when we say: "Um, just how rich?"

Because we can't help but think of the scene in Stripes when the army recruiter asks Bill Murray and Harold Ramis if they're gay. When Murray says no, Ramis adds: "But we are willing to learn." We can think of several little-used NBA journeymen in danger of being cut next season who just might want to make sure that they don't get cut, and make a heap of dough in the bargain. Just call a press conference, make a certain announcement about enjoying Judy Garland movies more than most other men your age ... voila! There's no way a team is going to cut the NBA's first openly gay player. We're pretty sure.

Cuban Says Gay NBA Player Would Be A Wealthy Pro [Dallas Star-Telegram]