Marlins President Eliminated On First Night Of Survivor

Miami Marlins president and inveterate asshole David Samson failed to make it through even one evening of this new season of Survivor without being eliminated after his tribe voted overwhelmingly to eject the smarmy thug from the program.

Samson, whose self-described claim to fame on the show was that he bilked Miami taxpayers, ended up on the losing end after spending most of the program questioning the abilities of a clearly capable teammate. Once again, reality TV proves to be mostly fake. Who could imagine a Marlins executive ever being a poor judge of talent?

Look on the bright side, Marlins fans. Your team should be able to make it at least a third of the way through your season before being eliminated.

[CBS]