The USMNT beat Mexico in an international friendly Tuesday night, 1–0, on a second-half goal from teenager Tyler Adams. You want to see the goal. Fine. Here is the goal, you demanding jerk:
Happy? Can we get on with this blog now? A few minutes earlier in the match, extremely huge American defender Matt Miazga was pestered and fouled by extremely not huge Diego Lainez, and the two exchanged some brief shit-talk before Miazga set off a soccerfuffle by rudely mocking Lainez’s height. He really went for it!
Mere minutes later, Angel Zaldivar was hit with a straight red card for a reckless tackle, giving the USMNT a man advantage, which they used to score the game’s only goal. It’s been a little silly for American soccer fans to consider this a rivalry of late, but Adams’s goal and Miazga’s taunting certainly will push things back in that direction.