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Today's Maurice Clarett update: The "troubled" — that is to say, "known for pretty much everything other than being a football player — posted a $50,000 bond to be released after his charges of aggravated robbery. We'll put aside for a moment how a guy with little discernible income over the last three years came up with 50 grand on the spot — maybe he was robbing people! — and instead look at Clarett's lawyer, William Settina.

One would think it would be difficult to gain too much notoriety as a defense attorney in Columbus, Ohio, but, then again, we are talking about Ohio State here. Oh, and guys who rob grocery stores wearing chicken suits. No, really. In 2004, Donald Haines robbed two Kroger stores wearing a chicken suit. What makes this story even stranger? Haines had previously worked as Kroger's mascot, Pepe the Penguin. And Settina represented him, saying, ""something snapped in Mr. Haines' head." (We'll guess it was a rubber band. Just one, though.)

After you've defended the chicken suit guy, Maurice Clarett, jeez, that's easy.

Clarett Posts $50,000 Bond For Club Robbery [The Lantern]
'Chicken Suit' Robber Sentenced [Local6]