If you're like us, you've always wondered: Whatever happened to Mel Hall? (This is why you are fortunately not like us.) The thoroughly average '80s-early '90s outfielder plays stumbled along for the Cubs and Indians before playing on some truly wretched Yankees teams. Plucky fellow. Hope matters turned out well for him.

Oh. Uh ... heavens to Betsy.

Former major league outfielder Mel Hall has been charged with sexually assaulting two girls in 1998 and 1999 when he was coaching them on a select basketball team.

The 46-year-old Hall was released from jail Friday on $35,000 bail. He was arrested the previous day on charges of sexual assault of a child under 17 and aggravated sexual assault of a child under 14, police said Saturday. The second charge carries a possible life sentence because of the age of the alleged victim.

If Hall is convinced, he could be looking at life in jail, which sounds almost a little lenient to us. It's almost as if you can't trust a guy in a Jheri Curl.

Mel Hall, Coming To A Jail Near You [Kid Cleveland]