Michael Jordan Backs Away From President Trump With Limpest Possible Statement

Michael Jordan found himself unexpectedly dragged into President Trump’s latest absurd feud with a prominent black athlete, when the senile cable-haver in chief closed his Twitter outburst directed at Don Lemon and LeBron James with the petty exclamation “I like Mike!”

Whatever your politics, probably the time when you least want to be associated with this huckster and his Lovecraftian combover is when he’s filling his diaper during another night spent hate-watching CNN. Michael Jordan is a true weenie when it comes to having things to say about the world, but he is also the owner of the Charlotte Hornets, and as such must understand that allowing his name to be used as a burn directed at a vice president of the NBA Players Association by a shithead who’s deeply unpopular with its members would be a bad look, certainly while prominent NBA players are dragging President Trump for his comments:

So Jordan had to say something. And he did! In spectacularly on-brand fashion, by saying as close to nothing as he could possibly get away with:

“I support L.J.,” Jordan told NBC News through his spokesperson. “He’s doing an amazing job for his community.”

Thanks very much, Mike. It’s just this sort of eloquence on matters of cultural importance that will keep you ahead of LeBron James in the esteem of Donald fucking Trump.