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If nobody talks about the game it’ll be because you and Fox are spending so much time disparaging the celebration!

Fox Crew Ruins Cell Phone Celebration

If this all sounds familiar, it’s what happened 15 years ago. When Horn hid a cell phone under the goalpost to celebrate a touchdown, TV types acted as if he’d taken a shit in Vince Lombardi’s hat. Tony Kornheiser said Horn “should be fined a million dollars.” He at least attempted to explain why the celebration was bad: “[I]t’s not just a little bit of fun. It’s a calculated thing to embarrass everybody out there. It’s nonsense. It’s to get him a contract with Nokia, or AT&T, or Sprint or whoever makes those phones.” How is a cell phone embarrassing? What is wrong with getting an endorsement deal in the slathered-with-advertising NFL? And here’s what Joe Theismann, then of ESPN, wrote about it:

I have to agree with Saints coach Jim Haslett when he said Horn’s actions aren’t what the Saints are about. This was a classless and extremely disheartening thing for Horn to do. This was a sheer example of selfish football that could’ve cost the Saints the game if the Giants had been able to take advantage of the great field position that resulted from the excessive celebration penalty. The Saints and the league are probably going to both fine Horn and he’s quite deserving of the loss of money.

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Horn’s penalty came with the Saints up 17-7 in a game they won 45-7 against a team that finished 4-12. Theismann, like the Fox postgame crew, harped on the celebration penalty even though the Saints won and nothing bad happened. No doubt a bunch of blowhards are as excited for Thomas’s NFL fine as Theismann was for Horn losing money. A dude pulls out a cell phone to celebration a touchdown and someone, anyone, anywhere thinks he should lose money because of that? (ESPN says Horn was fined $30,000 for his second infraction of some kind that year; Thomas will lose at least $13,369. Not nice.)

It’s fine that Horn and Thomas were flagged. Obviously “putting a cell phone under the goalposts so you can pull it out after you score a touchdown and pretend to make a phone call in celebration” is against the rules of football. But what’s really wrong about it? Could Michael Thomas have wrecked the structural integrity of padding around the goalpost by hiding a cell phone underneath? Was Thomas making a crank call on that phone? What was true of Horn remains true of Thomas. His touchdown celebration was not offensive. It’s not mean. It’s not really taunting. Thomas is basically being a respectful student of the game’s history! He could’ve done the Ickey Shuffle, but instead he did this.

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Horn was thrilled. “When I saw him bring out that cellphone, I teared up,” he said. “That’s something that some kids don’t do, to pay homage to an old soul. For him to do it on a national stage took a lot of courage. I’m humbled.” See! How cute is this?

Strahan said it took away from the great game viewers just saw. Come on; it didn’t. Simple prop celebrations can’t be so bad when an elaborate choreographed celebration, arguably much worse than pretending to make a phone call to celebrate a touchdown, is being promoted as “amazing” on the NFL’s official Twitter account.

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Not one broadcaster explained what was so bad about using a prop to celebrate. Thomas was not even the only Saint to use one to celebrate in Sunday’s game: Benjamin Watson put the football under his jersey to simulate a pregnancy after his touchdown catch; Watson’s wife is having twins (the couple’s sixth and seventh kids). A real “look at me” moment by Watson, I guess.

Strahan wanted Thomas to go celebrate with his team. Joe Horn himself had a response to that:

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So anyway, if you can believe it, some old broadcasters complained about a touchdown celebration.