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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Minor League Promotion Hits For The Menstrual Cycle

Illustration for article titled Minor League Promotion Hits For The Menstrual Cycle

We've got a new leader for best baseball promotion of the year. Some of you will be curious; most will be disgusted; a small segment will be a little turned on. It's pregnancy night in Brooklyn!

Sunday afternoon the Brooklyn Cyclones are hosting "Bellies & Baseball: A Salute to Pregnancy." And because these players have only been in pro ball for a few months, there's no need to worry about the expectant mothers of their illegitimate children.

No, the fun's for the fans, who'll take a couple hours away from being fat and miserable to enjoy such activities as:

*Barefoot & Pregnant: Expectant moms can run (or, more likely, walk) the bases with no shoes on before the game
*Craving Station: A table on the Concourse level will offer pickles, ice cream, anchovy pizza, etc. for pregnant women who crave more than the usual ballpark fare
*7th Inning Stretch Marks: Pregnant women will be allowed onto the field in the 7th inning to sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame
*Lamaze on the Lawn: The Cyclones will offer a Pre-game Lamaze class on the grass in centerfield
*Special Delivery: Any woman who gives birth at the ballpark before the end of the game gets free Cyclones Season Tickets for life for each member of her new family
*Pregnancy Pitch: Any woman in her third trimester gets to throw out a ceremonial first pitch before the game

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I'm not sure how long it takes from conception to register a positive test, but you've got two days. You might want to get to work on that now.

Bellies & Baseball [Brooklyn Cyclones]

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