Minor league team hilariously tweets S.O.S. as Jacob DeGrom methodically mows them down

“ Fuck them kids” — Michael Jordan...

... but also Jacob deGrom last night, probably.

The New York Mets ace threw a three-inning rehab outing on behalf of the St. Lucie Mets down in Florida, sparking the fear of God from the opposing Palm Beach Cardinals.

No, really, they were scared … and rightfully so.

DeGrom threw 41 pitches, three perfect innings, and he struck out eight of the nine hitters he faced. That’s 24 strikeouts per-nine innings, if you’re keeping score at the crib.

And, as the P.B. Cardinals’ Twitter page pointed out, the low-ball ‘A’ Mets, unlike their counterparts in Queens, provided deGrom with seven runs.

The P.B. Cardinals social media person stole the show last night. A commenter points out their confusion of deGrom’s rehab start taking place against them, and they responded just as confused.

You gotta feel them, though. One day you’re facing a regular minor league pitcher at the low-A level who is probably in his late teens or early 20s in an effort to … what’s that? *checks notes* Oh! These same Cardinals just faced Noah Syndergaard the night before. Well, what happened there?

It was Syndergaard’s first rehab start of the season (go figure, Cards) and he threw four scoreless innings, striking out five and allowing one hit. Of course, the Cardinals scored six runs in the sixth inning, not long after Syndergaard sat. St. Lucie won 11-8.

This actually went back one day even further because the Mets started Seth Lugo in his first rehab outing of the season. Luckily for the Cardinals, the Mets set-up man only pitched one inning, and was even limited to four pitches, though he retired the side in order. Unfortunately for the Cardinals, they didn’t score against Lugo, or anyone else.

So, when the Mets say they’re sorry, just know that they’re not. And they were correctly questioned. (But at least they have some guys coming back, and they’re all kind of important.)