MLB Closer: Do Not Taunt Surly Third-Place Kitty

Zach Miner of Los Tigres Detroit committed regicide on the monarchs from Missouri, allowing only three singles in seven innings on the way to a 4-0 victory in Kansas City last night. How could he get away with such domination on a major league franchise while only striking out three? How could he know he would get away with allowing so much bat-on-ball violence without much damage? Let's look at the Royals lineup... Mike Aviles is the best hitter in the lineup? By, like, a lot? Sweet baby Rany. Let's move on. • On the other hand, we have warts: When Jesse Litsch commits roughly the same act against the Red Sox, though, it's somewhat more impressive. Six innings of three-hit ball and four outs by dodging wood disappears, though, in the throttling of young Mr. Lester of the cancer-defeating Lesters. Toronto wins 11-0 on the strength of two Vernon Wells home runs. By the way, those two shots allowed Wells to take the team lead in homers with... uhm, 12. Yeah. We're walking; we're moving; we're not stopping. • Cats and dogs living together; mass hysteria!: Carl Pavano and Barry Zito won decisions last night. If Mike Hampton had pitched last night as well, the world may well have been torn asunder. Hug your kids this morning. If you don't have kids, hug someone else's. (Ask first.)