• She just wants to pee standing up: "I could never be with a woman, because I'm just fascinated by what men can do with their bodies that we can't." She says this loudly, as if she's often asked about the lesbian subculture that exists in her line of work — professional golf. Then she leans in conspiratorially, whispering, "This interview will definitely get me in trouble." [OobGolf] • Because a McRib just wouldn't help Usain Bolt break the world record:"Ad out of Israel uses a passage from Time's Website relaying the anecdote that the world's fastest man ate two helpings of the suspect meat—and that's all he ate—before the Beijing Olympics 100m final. "[Copyranter] • Impersonate Joba Chamberlain, get free breakfast: "Ryan Ward, 29, was reported to Belmar Police Aug. 1 after telling workers at Belmar Bagels that he was the famed pitcher and accepting free food from girls working at the shop. " [The Coaster] • Defending Sarah Palin's sportscasting: "What we saw wasn’t too bad - she didn’t fumble or stumble, seemed somewhat confident, and didn’t say anything terribly asinine. So she used a little schtick? We’ve heard and seen FAR worse, some of it on ESPN." [Thermocaster]