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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously

Illustration for article titled Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously

Have you ever been to Auburn? No? Well, I have, and IT SUCKS! Which is why, in order to "attract" recruits, the program has to dispatch its illiterate boosters to harass the nation's top prep talent into signing with them.

According to an Arkansas-based Deadspin tipster, the two gents above have been stalking running back Michael Dyer and tight end Dakota Mosley of Little Rock Christian Academy, showing up at games with their stupid misspelled sign in an effort to convince the two high school boys to go to Auburn and play in offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn's system. Our tipster writes:

This is the second game they have been at this year. I did take the pic and proceeded to ridicule them for their spelling prowess. A girl with them had a shirt that said "You Had Me At War Eagle"


Now, let's face it, even if these Auburn chaps are locals it doesn't make this sort of behavior any less pathetic, but if these idiots are commuting weekly from southern Alabama (And don't think for a second that they might not be!) just to kiss the asses of a couple of athletically-gifted teenagers, then that's really pathetic. However, when it comes to football recruiting, especially in the SEC, nothing would surprise me. But of course, LSU fans would never stoop to such levels. Never!

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