Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled My New Favorite Athlete Is Cum Dog

I’m not going to pretend to know a single thing about Jason Cummings, a striker playing for Hibernian FC in the Scottish second division. But you don’t need to know anything about him to enjoy his alter ego, a sock-handed wrestler known as Cum Dog.

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Cum Dog happened upon a pro wrestler named Grado eating lunch in Hibernian’s training center, and Cum Dog had to do something about it. While Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” played in the background, Cum Dog hit Grado with a Socko claw, withstood a chokeslam, and eventually won the match with a dive off the top rope. That’s when everyone mobbed him and started chanting, “Cum Dog! Cum Dog! Cum Dog!”

Now please join me in laughing at these tweets:

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Cum Dog.

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