My VORP Is Phenomenal

Everything was clicking in Boston last night and Terry Francona's jaw was no exception. The Red Sox pounded Chicago 10-3 despite a botched (non) homerun call by the umpires leading to Francona's righteous ejection. The Red Sox were led by another dominant performance by Josh Beckett. He struck out ten flailing Chicagoans on his way to joining C.C. Sabathia in the 13 win club. All four umpires are now being investigated by the FBI.

• Abe Froman will soon be Sausage King of Milwaukee Although they didn't go head-to-head the surging Cubs were able to pick up another game on the division-leading Brewers. Chicago's bats came alive against Brandon Webb, even Jacque Jones got a couple of hits! Milwaukee managed to lose to the San Francisco Old Guys even though "You-Know-Who" (Omar Vizquel) failed to hit the ball over the fence. Oh yeah, Barry Bonds could be joining Michael Vick in Indictmentville sooner than you may think. Obviously this is all W's fault (the president, not the hotel).

• It Putz the Lotion On Its Skin Miguel Batista was all over the place but it really seems to work for him. The wild Mariner picked up his tenth win for Seattle. JJ Putz came on to shut the door on the fledgling Blue Jays for his 29th save in a row.

• My fantasy team has a higher .OPS than your fantasy team Suck on that.