Deadspin hero Nate Diaz spent an hour with Ariel Helwani this afternoon on a special edition of The MMA Hour. It did not disappoint. Let’s run through the highlights.

  • On a rubber match against Conor McGregor: “I don’t want it I don’t need it, I already did my thing. You got choked motherfucker, you got beat up. If you’re okay with that last one, where you got your ass whooped, you’re not a fighter.”
  • On fighting top lightweight contender Tony Ferguson: “They want me to fight Ferguson? Why am I gonna cover for McGregor while he’s out making millions fighting boxers and shit? ... You guys [ed: Conor and Ferguson] got the same manager. You’re working together against me. Fuck off ... I’ve been offered a fight against Ferguson. For July 8. I wasn’t supposed to say that. But I was and I accepted and then rejected it.”
  • On superstars:

  • On the future:

  • On mere mortals:

  • On Stockton:

  • On medicine:

  • Diaz tshowed Helwani a golden UFC glove-shaped bong. Diaz: “It’s got a hitter.” Helwani: “What’s a hitter?” Diaz: “Something you smoke weed out of.”

Diaz gave Helwani a tour of his house and showed off a bunch of art that his fans have sent him. Helwani asked Diaz if his brother Nick would fight again and Nate played it cool. He also introduced his extra cool dog and had him do some tricks for Ariel. His name is Machiavelli and he can shake.

You can (and should) watch the whole thing here: