I wouldn’t dare lie to you folks. I couldn’t get away with it if I tried. I know very little about figure skating. It comes into my consciousness every four years, probably like most people. I find the competitors to be incredible athletes, it can be a truly beautiful art, but also struggle with anything where the results are still based on someones’ opinion (though I understand they’ve done their best to regulate scores).
Still, I know a cultural phenomenon when I see one, so I had to tune in for Nathan Chen’s long program, because the buzz had been building to a point where it was hard to miss it. I usually anticipate tuning in and seeing an outfit that costs more than my car on someone skating to a piece of classical music that Frasier and Niles would arrogantly and triumphantly identify while simultaneously making me feel like a barnyard animal for not being able to.
What I found was a dude in a Star Trek outfit skating around to Elton John. Now this is my language!
I have to dip into full disclosure again, as I’m not a hardcore Trekkie (I do happen to date one though. It’s been an eye-opening experience. She also agrees that Ro Laren was superior to Seven Of Nine in every way, which is probably why we’re together). But what I do know is that anyone wearing the red shirt is going to die quickly. So it takes some true moxie for Chen to show up in something resembling the red shirt. Ok, maybe it’s just different enough to not really be the ensign, “I’m totally fucked here aren’t I?” look, but it’s also close enough for disco. So I already know this guy has some bravado.
And then the music starts, and it’s Elton John. Now, it took me a long time to find my Elton John taste. It’s probably like Scotch (a taste I still haven’t really found. I’m #TeamBourbon). But Elton is still having something of a revival as society does away more and more with the term “guilty pleasure” and we just realize that Elton is a fucking ace songwriter and performer. Maybe he always was and I’m just projecting my once uncultured but now evolving tastes on everyone. I got there in the end. Piss off, Frasier and Niles. Also, when has an Olympic figure skating routine been to Sir Elton? And apparently there were two last night? Brilliant.
Still, if you’re going to appeal to dorks like me, you also have to live with the nitpicking from dorks like me. It’s what makes us the way we are. So…the medley. “Rocket Man.” Obviously makes sense with the outfit. Little cliche, but we’ll take it. It’s the one everyone knows. If you’ve got a William Shatner cover, you know it’s something of a touchstone/cliche.
“Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.” Clearly the best. Perhaps in the B-class of known Elton songs. But gorgeous, emotional, almost built for a figure skating routine.
So here’s where I get bitchy. “Benny and The Jets?” Far too cliche. You want to bring it home? Give me “Take Me To The Pilot.” “Benny” is too safe, too easy, too accessible. It’s a major plot point of a Katherin Heigl movie, for fuck’s sake. “Pilot” is where it’s at.
Would also accept “I Think I’m Going To Kill Myself,” but understandably that one would be a little tricky to sell.
Anyway, congrats to Chen. He deserves all the things that he will get from this, beyond the gold medal. He became a cultural event, a shared experience for a host of people who didn’t anticipate having one. A wonderful surprise.
But still. “Take Me To The Pilot.”