Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Nathan MacKinnon’s helmet toss sums up the Arizona Coyotes

Colorado’s Nathan MacKinnon tosses the Coyote Connor Garland’s helmet at his head last night.
Colorado’s Nathan MacKinnon tosses the Coyote Connor Garland’s helmet at his head last night.
Screenshot: SportsNet

I’ve had my share of fun at the expense of the Coyotes and will continue to do so as they continue to be the dopey buzzard of NHL, and really all sports teams. It must be a rotten existence to play for them, other than the warm weather and athlete’s paycheck and lack of any pressure whatsoever. Last night, for Conor Garland at least, might have been bottom.

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It won’t be any surprise that the ’Yotes got blistered to the tune of 9-3 by Colorado. The Avs are the class of the league right now, and the ’Yotes are just above something you scrape off the bottom of your shoe with a stick. But put yourself in Garland’s skates. You’re probably the best player on Arizona. You’re watching your opponent make it clear that they are what you will never be. You watch MacKinnon and his friends skate so freely and dominantly, promising so much in the near future. Promising things you’ll never know, at least not as a Coyote. You’ve been a star everywhere, and now you’re seeing your own irrelevance sketched out so clearly. All those years of work and practice and games and in one night, you know that’s landed you here, oblivion. You feel helpless, dejected, your entire existence has just been labeled a waste.

And then this happens:

Is there a better metaphor? Nathan MacKinnon, a player the type of which the Coyotes have never had, and probably will never have, disparagingly tossing a helmet at the Coyotes’ best player, the gesture on its own makes the gap between the two all the more clear. The final insult. And there’s Garland, flapping at it like he’s auditioning for a remake of The Birds. 

Is this not the Coyotes flapping at the most basic of tasks, as they have for most of their entire existence? Is this not the NHL taking pity on them, and then watching them screw that up? How would you describe the Arizona Coyotes’ history? “Their best player flailing his arms at a softly tossed helmet” pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? Think of all you know about Arizona, and then watch Garland again:

It’s all right there.

Also, it should be noted MacKinnon was ejected for this but Connor McDavid wasn’t for his elbow. Hockey!

We can't be too careful. Two guys in an airport...talking? It's a little fishy.