NCAA engages in legal circle-jerk over VASECTOMY MAYHEM

It’s only fitting that the NCAA is very concerned with dicks. The NCAA is petitioning to cancel a urology center’s trademark for “VASECTOMY MAYHEM” – which is a phrase that honestly shouldn’t exist and especially shouldn’t exist around the word “vasectomy”– because they’re concerned that people will confuse it with “MARCH MAYHEM.”

You see, many men schedule vasectomies for March, because it’s a good time to just sit around recovering while watching basketball.

Ignoring the fact that it sounds like a urology center is organizing a genitalia massacre, it does make sense that an organization that constantly wants to engage in pissing contests could think that there’s some confusion.

While they’re having a conversation with a urology clinic and filing a countersuit, they should file another one saying that they aren’t allowed to offer anything that helps with “performance.” Next thing you know, the NCAA will confuse the little blue pill with a Performance Enhancing Drug, and they’ll think all of their male athletes are having a very hard time.

I feel like the NCAA is going about this all wrong. Maybe the NCAA could be the official sponsor of “VASECTOMY MAYHEM,” and they give away a free snip for every buzzer beater. Or something. I digress. It does take a real heady braintrust to stroke the egos of the NCAA and convince them that this is an actual issue that they need to get their hands on. I hope the judge gets a good laugh out of it.