Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled NCAA Tournament Live Blog: (6) UCLA Vs. (11) Virginia Commonwealth

Your live blogger for this game will be Janna Smith from, and the only woman in our lineup. No, we did not simply stick her in right field.



Welcome to our wonderful UCLA-VCU liveblog!

I'm gonna be honest up front: I went to USC. I've been heavily, and successfully, brainwashed into hating the Bruins. A lot.


However, today is the birthday of UCLA alum and current love-of-my-life-whom-I've-never-met Jorma Taccone (probably most recognized as the guy who is not Andy Samberg in the "Jizz In My Pants" video). In honor of the holiday, I'm going to give them a fair shake, and totally refrain from mentioning anything regarding football, USC's beatdown in the Staples Center last Friday night, or, uh, football.

I will try to keep up with your comments as best as I can, so feel free to send questions my way. I will probably answer like, two of them.

For now, we await tip-off. Let the blogging begin!

Aaaaand, we're off! What? The game hasn't started yet? Oh, some preview information then!


President Obama picked VCU to upset UCLA in this game. However, as of 9:45 tonight, in a poll on VCU fan site, more of VCU's own fans (26%) predicted a first-round loss for the Rams than any other possible tournament outcome. Will they follow those presidential orders? Or cave from the pressure?

Well, folks, we got 15 minutes to go. For your pregame entertainment, this anecdote: I had to explain to my brother what the hell "Deadspin" was. He asked, "Is it like ESPN?" He really liked my explanation, which followed: "It's like ESPN's misbehaving cousin that everybody tries to ignore at family dinners, but can't cause you can't quit staring at the green beans he's shoved up his nose."


So, as it sits, I'm 10-for-12 in my NCAA Tournament picks. So is Mr. President. Our brackets are the same for the other late games tonight, we only differ on this one. So I think I've got to root for the Bruins, so I can get ahead of him...

Finally, coverage of the UCLA-VCU game begins!

And, I realize I mislabeled two of those posts with Pacific Time (now fixed). I better change the clock on my computer so I confuse myself less. Damn you, East-Coasters!


The game has started! I support black jerseys. Wait, crap! I want those guys to lose! I hate not being able to root for the underdog.

Is this how this game is going to go? UCLA playing keep-away until VCU stands up to the big bully and irresponsibly fouls, again and again? It has not been a very exciting first 90 seconds.


If I comment on the CBS commentator bringing up how "flat" UCLA's play was against the Trojans last week in the PAC-10 tournament, that doesn't count as me picking on them.

More fouls. barely any points scored. Wouldn't it be fun if neither team cracked 40 points this game?


Yay! People scoring points! Much better. VCU keeping up OK so far.

Whoa. That guy just took Aboya's shoulder, right in the mouth. Hard. UCLA up 12-8 for our first media break.


RE: Johninho's comment - yea, I have no idea who or what this Yoni character is. There were a couple of gender-neutral names in the liveblog lineup but I had suspected I was the only chick.

RE: Pornstars-for-Wilbon - deal!

Aboya hails from Cameroon. Isn't that one of those countries that sends only like, six people to the Olympics?


Once again, VCU fails to tie it up by turning over the basketball. They led by a point for like, 30 seconds earlier, haven't been able to capitalize on any good opportunities since.

It's 42 degrees in Philadelphia right now. In VCU's hometown of Richmond, Virginia, they had a high of 62. Here in LA? 71 and sunny, baby.


Wait, is John Wooden not at the game? I mean he's only 98 and in kinda fragile health, but still! What a bad fan.

Wow, epic fail on the rebounds there, Rams. Off like three guys' fingertips into the hands of the Bruins. Luckily for them, ended in a failed shot and a foul on the Bruins.


VCU finally ties it up at 13 with Maynor's free throws.

NICE denial by Sanders! Still couldn't convert it to points, though.

My first sighting of the Rams' mascot - looks more like a teddy bear with horns than an intimidating Ram.


Haha! Missed pass. Must've been distracted by those sparkly, shiny VCU cheerleaders' pom-poms.

Wow, sad layup attempt, hit the bottom of the rim. UCLA runs off and scores a 3 instead.


VCU gaining a little momentum on some three's. We'll see where this goes...

Holiday travels. Rams get even more momentum.

You know the most challenging part of this liveblog business? Typing the timestamps, and making them bold, quickly enough for the post to still be relevant. The things I do to make this thing beautiful for you people!


And we're back from commercial break to see... Bruin cheerleaders squatting awkwardly mid-court.

VCU shooting a free throw again, can they take back that one-point lead??

YES! But can't make any of those layup attempts a possession later.

VCU needs to up in the offensive rebounds methinks. Can't keep letting UCLA get away with it.


Has anybody seen the VCU Pep Band? I saw the Bruin Varsity Band cordoned off in a little box in the corner a few times already. But the internet told me VCU may still have a hot band leader who likes to strip.

Wow, even Blue Man Group are Duke fans? (Coke Zero commercial)

And just when I ask for it, I'm given the VCU Band playing the always original "Hey" song...


UCLA has pulled the lead out to what I believe is a game-high 9 points.

Yes, that is their biggest lead so far. Well, was, before they brought it up to 12. Don't you hate it when sportscasters steal your lines right after you say/write them? This would make sense had that last comment not taken 30 seconds to post.


VCU barely holds on to the ball after a steal, can they score any points before the half ends???

Answer: NO! UCLA up 35-25 following I think 13 unanswered points in the last few minutes of the half.


All right, kids, it's halftime. Let's hit up Wikipedia and learn about the two schools being represented here tonight.

Some fun facts about VCU:

Their student cheering section is called the "Rowdy Rams", and their alumni include the real Patch Adams, Debbie Matenopoulos (one of the original bitches of "The View"), members of the band GWAR, and the guy who created 4chan!


Some fun facts about UCLA:

It's finals week, so that means UCLA students will be (or did they last night?) participating in their traditional* "Undie Run". However, seeing UCLA students prance around Westwood in their skivvies really loses its effect when they do it every single quarter; it feels like the last one was only 2 weeks ago.


*This has only been going on for like 6 years max. Does that make it a tradition?

Notable alumni include Judge Joe Brown, Elizabeth Berkeley from Showgirls, George Takei, and a lot of local LA politicians who probably don't matter to most of you reading this liveblog.


It appears commenter Johninho wants to start some sort of fight with me by criticizing my ability to pay really close attention to lame commercials while typing and holding back the urge to take a piss break. But he's definitely commented more than any other reader of this post. I'm starting to think he's got a crush on me and wants to show it by teasing me, like a 7-year-old.

Hey! There's that band leader, showing off his mad white-boy dance moves.

Dick Engberg: "Boathouse Row makes you wanna look for... a good skull, that's what I say." WTF does that even mean!??!


And we're back again! VCU first to score in the second half.

RE: Johninho - I actually saw blue and the letter "K" and typed the comment before the commercial even ended. But thanks!! Maybe I'll let you be my date for the Sadie Hawkins dance.


VCU is on fire! I mean, if you don't count the can't make any baskets thing.

VCU with a three, narrows UCLA's lead to 6. I'm so glad this game is waaaayyy more entertaining than the blowouts going on in Greensboro and Kansas City.


That one Rams cheerleader they just showed is gonna be bald in a few years if she keeps perming and peroxiding her hair like that.

I just realized how bitchy that comment was. The Jezebel girls might get mad at me for the needless girl-on-girl crime. But really, at least I haven't made any judgments on their visible midriffs.


VCU is still keeping pretty close with the Bruins. I think this is the part where Air Force One lands on the roof and the secret service takes out Holiday and Aboya to preserve Mr. Obama's token upset pick of the day.

Sanders fouls Shipp, but really, I would too, letting him land a dunk like that would've been a real momentum-killer.


Key stat provided by CBS: UCLA's scored 14 points off of turnovers, VCU's gotten none. Rams can't capitalize on scoring opportunities, seems to be the running theme of the night.

Off-topic: I used to have Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus" as a ringtone on my phone, too, just like that creepy kid from the E-Trade commercials.


RE: That handstand-walking cheerleader moment we just witnessed. Wow. Just, wow. I won't even begin to count the reasons that was just freakin' weird.

That thing where Nixon tipped in the shot that bounced off the corner of the backboard was pretty cool. All of a sudden the UCLA lead is down to only 4! Too close for comfort for the Bruins. Jorma does not approve.

Illustration for article titled NCAA Tournament Live Blog: (6) UCLA Vs. (11) Virginia Commonwealth

Collison's pushing it with 4 fouls, and a quarter of the game to go. If the Rams can keep him riled up and fouling....


Gwynn is arguing with the ref about that possible elbow-jab. My bracket says he clearly was aiming his elbow at that guy's neck, but my heart wants the refs to go easy on him.

Haha somehow for like twenty minutes there I managed to accidentally add a capital "W" to the end of this post's title. I am such a clumsy live-blogger.


Maynor, one of the Ram's senior leaders, needs to cool it. They gotta keep it together if they want a chance to win this.

All these golf commercials are making me sleepy.

Seriously, Morgan State guys getting ejected? They're down by thirty in a game no one thought they would win anyhow. Lay off the 'roids, boys.


A good back-and-forth there. I think the crowd in Philly is the only one still awake.

Johninho, you gotta start bringin' the funny better or I'm totally gonna dump you for Craig Eshericks Mustache.


I'm sorry, but I just can't help but laugh when Collison lets the ball just roll between his legs like that.

VCU with two threes! Listen to those "Rowdy Rams" in the crowd! It's a one-possession game! This is why my friend (whose name I won't mention so as to not embarrass her, she knows who she is) says "the last 5 minutes of a basketball game are the only part that matter."


UCLA doesn't have any half-naked female fans to compete with VCU's, cause Philadelphia is so "cold" to LA girls, it may as well be the North Pole.

I really can't decide who to root for. I love an underdog. But, regardless of my bracket, I kind of want UCLA to win just so I can use my "Happy Jorma" picture.


I've been challenged to try to use 20 F-bombs before the game ends. No fucking way I'm gonna cheat, though, they'll all be fucking awesome and fucking appropriate. No gratuitous cussing.

FUCK YEA! One-point game! I am glad I live alone so I can yell louder than the fans in the stadium without annoying anyone besides the cat.


Aboya sinks two free throws. Timeout. That stripping band leader better fucking bring it and not give the crowd in Philly a chance to quiet down.

I fucking LOVE how he does what I say right after I write it.

Holy fuck, I totally held my breath while that rolled around the rim before going in.


Timeouts?!? WHY MORE TIMEOUTS!?? Actually, they're useful, I couldn't type fast enough without them. Damn emboldened timestamps!

Oh, fuck, I've only got seven fucks. I can do fucking better than this! But it's so hard, I cant take my eyes off OHMYFUCKINGGOD SANDERS KNOCKS IT OUT


Finally, now that the game's almost over, these posts start saving and publishing more quickly. It's about fucking time! Maybe the other games ended? Really, I can't even take two seconds to check on that right now, this game is fucking awesome.

13 fucking seconds. This is what it comes down to. VCU's season. UCLA's season. Oh I fucking love this tournament.


Oh fuck! It's over! It all happened so fast!

Maynor was the guy who had the game-winning shot a couple years ago when the Rams knocked Duke out of the tournament. Not so lucky this time. Also, I only got in 15 F-bombs, so I lose.


I did, however, do better with my predictions than the President. Barack Obama's bracket can suck it!

Well, that's it for me, folks. It's been a blast. To celebrate the Bruins' win, I'll leave you with this adorable sight:

Illustration for article titled NCAA Tournament Live Blog: (6) UCLA Vs. (11) Virginia Commonwealth

Happy Jorma!!!

**Correction: I originally slipped in an extra letter in the spelling of Rams fansite Gotta give proper linkage!**

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