Of course the NFL’s latest global expansion screws fans stateside

The NFL’s plan for global domination took another step forward this week as the league announced it will play a game in South America for the first time. Cue the trumpets, horns and dollar bills falling from the sky like confetti. Get ready, Brazil, here comes a little bloodsport to pique your morbid curiosity.

While watching overgrown men suffer head trauma hasn’t sparked an international revolution in football a la the NBA, that won’t deter the NFL from steamrolling ahead with little regard for its fans stateside. We have yet to see what will anger viewers to the point of abandoning the product and the league’s latest expansion brings with it more fan disservice.

Going forward, teams can only protect two home games from being poached for international showcases. That number is down from four, so instead of endless, unwatchable trash airing at 6:30 a.m. on Sunday, there might be real games of consequence, or even worse, entertainment that you’re sleeping through.

Only one organization voted against playing a game in Sao Paulo, but unfortunately for Bears chairperson George McCaskey, his appeal was laughed off when he included Tommy DeVito on the list of opposing QBs that fans will be upset about not seeing in person. While McCaskey furthered the belief that Chicago has no idea what a franchise QB looks like, his point remains valid.

How long before the league’s insatiable greed cost team owners money? That may sound paradoxical, but season ticket sales matter. I think. If only two games on the home slate are worth attending, one would presume that the draw for tickets would ebb.

Now, that’s just an assumption, and likely a foolish one.

I’ve honestly stopped searching for the final straw that will prompt a mass exodus. The NFL is a little like social media in that people constantly bitch about it, but never actually leave. Unless Elon Musk buys the league and fills it with overt racists, there’s no scenario that will dissuade football fans from tuning in on Sundays — and even then, that might not work.

For several reasons that are predictable, explainable and depressing, egregious missteps don’t derail the NFL’s business model. That force field enables owners and Roger Goodell to do whatever they want without recourse.

Games in Brazil?

Absolutely.

How about a Toy Story telecast to hook children?

You’re a genius, Phil!

Midweek games with half-healthy rosters and backup QBs?

Hey, if Amazon is going to pay a billion for it . . .

Should we partner with sportsbooks?

Just make sure to cover our bases with a PSA.

What are your thoughts on an anti-racism campaign?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go woke, go broke. Just paint “End racism” in the endzone.

It would be nice if the NFL used its unrelenting popularity for good as well as the all-powerful bottom line. However, this ain’t UNICEF. There’s no financial incentive in making the world a better place. Everything is an asset and should be squeezed until it turns a profit or dies.