NFL Update 4: Welcome To My Nightmare

There's really no good reason to run this photo, especially in relation to any NFL Update post. But when something like this lands in your inbox, forcing you to spend the next hour washing your eyes out with lava soap, even though you know it's never going to escape from where it has burrowed on the insides of your eyelids, well, you just have to share it with the rest of the class. Let's do a little actual updating, shall we? First, the early finals: Atlanta 14, Philadelphia 27. Westbrook continued his reign of terror, finishing with over 200 total yards and a pair of TDs. Things went south for golden boy Matt Ryan, who had a couple of interceptions. Also, there was a blown call or something, which you'll no doubt find more about on some Falcons message board. San Diego 32, New Orleans 37. This is a bit different from those horribly boring olde 1-0 futbol games, isn't it Londoners? Brees actually gave away points at the end of the game by taking a late safety. That alone was more scoring than most soccer matches. And your afternoon games: Cincinnati 3, Houston 14. Texans get on the board first with a long punt return by Jacoby Jones. The Bengals come back with a drive under the always-reliable hands of Cedric Benson. In response, Matt Schaub leads his Texans on a massive 91-yard drive. Jacksonville 7, Cleveland 14. Derek Anderson looks like last year's old self, for a moment at least, with a solid 80-yard scoring drive to start off the game. David Garrard follows up with a 74-yard drive of his own. Anderson responds with another TD drive, following a 51-yard pass on 4th-and-1. Doesn't seem like there's going to be a lot of defense during this one. Seattle 13, San Francisco 0. Honestly, you don't have to pay attention to this game at all. Really. No one's going to judge you. NY Giants 3, Pittsburgh 7. Mewelde Moore continues his from-out-of-obscurity tale, running for a 32-yard TD right off the bat. This update ends by the Steelers holding Brandon Jacobs out of the end zone from the 1-yard line.