Next Friday, we'll be taking our first day off since January 3. Why? A wedding, of course! Yes, the fall wedding: The bane of sports fans for centuries.

Spring and summer weddings are always more ideal for sports fans, because anyone can miss a weekend of baseball or so. But fall? October weddings are the worst, because you miss both the NFL and baseball playoffs, and that's just unacceptable. Some people reall lose their minds about it.

This Sunday comes the inexcusable - the fall afternoon-evening wedding. On a SUNDAY. Others have likely waxed poetic on this topic, so I will not belabor the point. It is simply...and utterly...deflating. I consider myself a hard-working professional. A devoted brother and son. A good boyfriend who now "does activities" on weekends. But a man has limits. After a particularly long week, my desires are simple. If activities must occur, let them take place on Saturday morning and, if imperative, early afternoon. Sunday weddings are very clearly not on the agenda. You have an engagement party and a Saturday wedding to close the deal.

Seriously: A Sunday wedding? These people are obviously not Americans.

Wedding Crashing The NFL Is Unacceptable [The Legend Of Cecilio Guante]