The man you see pictured is Randy Monroe, coach of the Maryland-Baltimore County Retrievers. Last week, his team lost at home to New Hampshire, and Monroe — who is famous for stomping up and down the sidelines and screaming — officially lost it. So what did he do to motivate/punish his team? He banned the team from its own locker room. No, seriously: They're dressing in a media meeting room courtside. He has also told his team they cannot wear any apparel containing the school's name, which is probably for the best, since "Maryland-Baltimore County" is difficult to fit on a shirt anyway.
You know how coaches like Rick Pitino and Mike Krzyzewski spend their offseasons speaking to big corporate functions and retreats, racking up big fees to talk to white-collar types about "leadership" and "creating a winning team?" We think Monroe has a real future in this; we imagine him inspiring middle managers across the country to take away their employees' bathroom keys, or locking away the coffee. Oh, and those pens you've been swiping, the ones with the corporate insignia? Gone!
(By the way, if you want to show Coach Monroe your support, we encourage you to let him know at email@example.com. We've already sent him two questions this morning on how to deal with our fiancee's tendency to keep buying shoes.)